Relationships
Let us place this post in the proper context: I'm a little sick, a little worn out, and a little tired of talking about "relationships."First, I'm tired of what connotations such a convenient word has garnered over the years. If you mention you have a relationship with someone, your audience will (increasingly) assume it is romantic and (decreasingly) with the opposite sex.
Why can we not discuss how I relate with my roommate, my family, my co-workers, and my God? In the interest of linguistic accuracy, how shall I describe my connection to them in any other terms than those of relationship?
Beyond the terminology issue, I have found that much as romantic relationships suffer and moan, other relationships are much more seriously neglected. At the church retreat this weekend, we spent one session on friendships in general and three on the love and marriage game.
I know all the rules for that one. I have every single thing and piece of information necessary to be a perfect girlfriend, fiancee and wife. Get it? Every single thing.
But how about a session about enemies? Annoying people? Other people's children? Strangers? I don't have much information about those, and I suspect that neither does anyone else. There probably aren't many speakers who have materials prepared for the "Relationships with Faint Acquaintances and Service Providers Seminar."
If someone did, I'd go. I think other people might, too. Hey entrepreneurs, there's a hole in the market!
Don't get me wrong. I greatly enjoyed the retreat. The time was well-spent, especially when it involved actually having relationships with my fellow retreaters. But if there's anything my pride doesn't really need, it's another speaker telling me I've had it right all along.
posted by Lynn @ 6:09 PM
3 Comments:
I would say that you're certainly smart enough to do it. As "God" in Bruce Almighty said, "You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle." There may or may not be a lot of Christian "discourse" (oh yeah, I so went there!) on the subject, save the precious few statements found on it in the Sermon on the Mount or the Haustafeln of the Epistles. Oh, yeah, and Proverbs (don't be loudly cheery in the morning with friends, for example, or you'll just get cussed out in return.) I understand that you've got a class going in the church (right?), so perhaps you could build that curriculum for it. Mine some helpful texts from the psychology section of the library, go find what books there are on the subject in the probably out-of-the-way shelves in the Christian bookstores. Get people to start talking about these things. I mean, it's not that people aren't writing and researching these matters, they're just getting crowded out by the big "r" word--romance. And that's not just true of the church; I'm sure that talk shows are devoting more time to romantic relationships than others.
It's obvious why there were over fifty (50) books on singleness, dating (or courtship, depending on what your youth minister's preference was), and marriage in a modestly sized LifeWay Christian Bookstore in Abilene, Texas. Because that's really the relationship that people esteem over everything else--at least in the 18-25 age bracket. And, it makes money.
Probably the only thing that people are saying in the area of dealing with, as you said, "faint acquaintances and service providers" is "be a light" and "show them love." Meanwhile, as you have very astutely observed, there is an entire de facto discipline in the area of romance. Shows again how really obsessed our culture is with this romance thing, and the church is either 1) getting caught up with it or 2) spending a good deal reacting to it. Perhaps both.
Don't underestimate your capabilities, Lynn. Goodness knows you can write a heck of a lot better than many published authors I've read, and I think you could offer that service to these people. Be sure to come up with a catchy title; for good or for ill, that seems to be the only way to get people's attention these days.
Sure, your own data may be largely anecdotal at first, but it could be the start of something really cool. I think it's time that these other "relationships" you're talking about get the attention they deserve but haven't because the romantic has been--want to guess the next word? It's a "p" word . . .
Just my two cents.
: )
You and your "two cents." (Whoa, it really IS all about money! : )
I think you're right that the preoccupation in the church stems from the preoccupation in culture. But I am so non-mainstream when it comes to culture that I can't benefit from some of the things that are probably very helpful to others.
I think I'm going to have to figure some of it out before I try to teach it, teachers being held to a higher standard and all.
" You and your "two cents." (Whoa, it really IS all about money! : )"
LOL
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