A Shameless Generalization
I'm sure the misogynist poets of old had a name for it. I can't put my finger on it, but there's a definite "type" out there. There's a class of young women (and I'm sure many do not change with age) who seem to date young men with whom I am acquainted. Very few of these relationships have resulted in marriage, but they have been frequent enough to present some generalizations about this female type:(1) Their voices are loud. I know I have little room to talk about this, but because I have so often been ashamed of my own clamorousness I am more sensitive to it in others as well.
(2) Their opinions are firmly fixed, if one can only find out what they are and how they are consistent with one another. If disagreed with, the opinions are subjected to such a gymnastic caper of mitigating circumstances as to endorse just as firmly the opposite course. Response is unnecessary -- indeed, impossible -- to such a yin-yang of commentary. See #1.
(3) They are overflowing with the kind of humility that pronounces personal flaws in such a manner as cannot go unrefuted without great discomfort for all others present. It is a matter of pride to be the least talented, the ugliest, the most careless. Superlatives of any kind are distinctions in themselves. See #1.
(4) They are most pleasant in one-on-one conversation, particularly apart from the male acquaintances they are dating. The conversations are less pleasant when they are about the said acquaintance, since the easiest way to talk about him is with a playful deprecation that acquits you of being interested in her boyfriend and preserves you from the sickly-sweet murmurings of a lover.
There are other characteristics, I am sure, to be assigned to the type. I don't mean to imply by laying out this description that I dislike all members of the class. As with other stereotypes, there isn't one woman who fits them all perfectly. And these women can be excellent companions, especially in the context of #4.
But I am still puzzled by the attraction they inspire in young men I respect.
posted by Lynn @ 11:58 PM
7 Comments:
Well put. If I had been paid for all the time I've spent puzzling over this very issue, I'd be wealthy enough to never have to think again.
All I can figure out is this: Women, by and large, see each other as we are. Men see only the facade that we want them to see and don't really look deeper for the reality.
Yep, men are pigs. Props to Becca for another shameless generalization! :) Just kidding. I don't really fault these guys, I just wish I "got" it.
Seriously, I'm glad someone else has at least mulled this over too.
Heh. Yup. But watch yourself. I bet you've spent at least one full day being one of those type of females. I'm pretty sure that I have.
But when it comes down to it, all that matters is that we know it works. It's like...instinct. So, I guess in the end, it doesn't really matter why perfectly sane and intelligent men can be wooed by women acting in such seemingly unattractive ways. The real question is, can we women folks find a decent man without stooping to that carnal level which happens without us even realizing it until after the fact. Is survival of the species dependent on women being annoying?
Good questions...
Do you think the survival of a number of bird species depends on the silly things their males do? I'd imagine our little rituals are just as silly and necessary.
And I agree that all women get there at some point in life -- and I more often than many.
I miss you very much.
I like Tank's question: "Is survival of the species dependent on women being annoying?" It made me laugh, and I know I used to think it was true... But then I found a fantastic husband who would probably institutionalize me if I started acting like the gals you wrote about. :) And just think, if a woman gets a guy to marry her by being annoying, she'll have to keep it up the rest of her life. How... annoying!
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