Irony Becomes Her

The World Is Too Small for the Heat

Rising gas prices can be embarrassing.

I planned my morning economically. I would go to the gym first because it closes at noon; after that, the ATM and the laundromat; then grocery shopping and home. It didn't matter that I would be sweaty and unpresentable at the laundromat and grocery store. Who do I ever see there that I would want to impress?

Two days ago, I was eating lunch with two male colleagues when we all noticed that our waiter turned the Charm Ray on 'high' whenever he addressed me, most likely believing it would bring him a greater tip. I don't begrudge him the attempt, but it didn't work the purpose. I was quite proud that I did not succumb to charm, flattery, or whatever else it might be called. I'm too strong and sensible a woman for that.

So this morning I was sweatily folding my laundry when that very waiter (I had noticed that his last name, amusingly for a waiter, was Breakall) came in and put his laundry in the machine two feet away. I could not look up after I realized who it was, but I imagined that if he recognized me he was reflecting on how his Charm Ray could possibly have even functioned in the presence of such a filthy, disgusting wretch.

I fled, hiding behind a mound of clothing. I still went grocery shopping, but I don't think I'll leave home again today. I have a pain in the ego.

See 'Chipping Away,' July 30.

posted by Lynn @ 2:01 PM