He hath done what he could
So it's real. Dad has left the Shadowlands, and now he fully knows as he has been fully known.I thought I was getting ready for that to happen. I was thankful to have some warning, some notice of preparation for the departure. I still am thankful for that.
But I wasn't ready. I couldn't be. Reflecting on how good my dad has been to me, in spite of his weaknesses and failings, heightens the sense of loss when I remember his role in my life.
When I calculate the factors Dad had in favor and in opposition to his success as a family man, I thank God that he survived as such and maintained a soft and tender heart toward his wife, children and grandchildren.
In this culture, how many men decide they are so misunderstood and underappreciated that they "just can't" be faithful husbands to their wives and fathers to their children? Dad had plenty of chances to decide that, and he didn't. Even when Mom and we kids couldn't understand him, he was always thankful to God for giving him a family.
In this culture, how many men feel trapped in unfulfilling work and give up, giving in to depression and ineffectuality and taking their families down with them? Dad felt that way, but he never gave up. He showed his love for us by sacrificing career satisfaction in order to give us top-drawer education and health care.
How many men, not receiving the level of respect they need as leaders of their families, give way to anger and abuse their wives or children? Dad never did. If he did lose his temper and say unjust things, he always asked forgiveness where he had been wrong. And now he has fully forgiven us for every saucy word and dismissive attitude we had for him.
Dad was often unhappy and never fully satisfied with himself, and that sometimes made it hard to be with him. But I am so thankful for the example he set for me of perseverance through less-than-ideal conditions, of knowing and doing the right thing despite how discouraged or unsatisfied he felt. What a difference it makes to this child to see her father endure to the end rather than buckling under the strain! Even though it is often hard to see in real time, in retrospect, it is pretty plain that he couldn't have done it without continually seeking the help of his own heavenly Father to bear the load.
I couldn't fully value what I had until I lost it, but I haven't lost Daddy forever. We'll meet on the other side, where there is perfect love, perfect understanding, perfect freedom from fear. I just can't wait to meet him in those conditions.
posted by Lynn @ 4:07 AM
4 Comments:
You and your family have been in my thoughts. I'm sorry for your loss. That hope you have is a beautiful thing. Take care.
Thank you for this piece. Every human being has places where giving up looks better than enduring. That endurance of hope is one of the things that came to be greatly valued by your Dad. As Paul put it in Romans 15:5: "May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."
God Gave endurance and encouragement to us both, so we could glorify God...(we realized very often we couldn't and didn't glorify God with our own strength.) We have a lot to be thankful for even in our feelings of loss. I too am looking forward to the reunion of the redeemed.
You have done it again--painted a beautiful and honest picture of your Dad. We love him so much, in spite of/because of his struggles and foibles. Amen to Boom's comment. What would we do without God's encouragement and guidance through his Word and the Spirit. Looking forward to THE reunion! Bless you!
A hearty AMEN to Boom and Nana's comments. Ben read this the morning we were headed back from Yakima to the Spokane airport. I read it in the car. Well said. You have such a gift. Nana reminded me how King David encouraged himself in the Lord. Daddy David had the perfect name. Not only does the Lord encourages us but your daddy encouraged himself in the Lord and thus
encouraged us as well.
Love, AS
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